Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
