I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
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This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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