So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
