We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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