All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Randomize
