I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
