the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
