new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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