i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
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My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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