the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...