Kiss
Puke
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
