Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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