Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
