absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
