Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
