i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
