I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
