Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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