I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
