TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
