those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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