I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
