does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
