hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
love makes seman taste better
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
