i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
