How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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