Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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