I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
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after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.