i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.