I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday