i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.