What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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