Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
