Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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