If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
