I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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