U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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