There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
