he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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