I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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