sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize