yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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