i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
