i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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