It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
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I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
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Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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