I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize