It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can I color on your dick again?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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