Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
