the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize