How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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