I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
