actually, I'm a sock model
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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