You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize