i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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