Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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