Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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