i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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