we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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