Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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