I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
