Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
