i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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