I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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