and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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