if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
