It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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